Standing concrit post

[guardiansverse]

This is the standing post for posting bits and pieces of writing about which you want some specific concrit. Feel free to post bits as long or as short as you please (though please place longer pieces behind a cut) and to specify the parameters of concrit you want (i.e. "nuke my bad grammar but no comments on characterization please!")


1. Discussion below in thread format. Anonymous comments welcome.
2. If you are talking about something currently being posted to FFA, please clearly mark for any possible spoilers!
3. Please don't post plot or character questions here: take it to the Plotting and Brainstorming Post. Similarly we have a Worldbuilding Post for more general discussion not related to a specific story.
4. Keep in mind the requested concrit parameters, and authors' preferences as expressed in our introduction post.
5. FFA by-rules apply: don't be an asshole.

Comments

The Prince's Progress

[anastasialeigh]

Hi!

Now that The Prince's Progress is done, I'm open to concrit.

Here's a link to the complete pastebin: https://pastebin.com/7Ytpy9Zj

I'm open to comments on pretty much any aspect of the story.

Thanks!

Re: The Prince's Progress

[anona]

This is not much, sorry, but I have a couple of things:
- I re-read up to about part 50 and found 2-3 instances of “breech” being used where it should be “breach”. If you don’t have an easy way to search for them, I can go back and read again — it’s not like it’s a hardship :p

- There was something I found a little confusing about the marriage certificate issue: Wynne said his style was his “true name”, right? And “Wynne” is something that makes it easier for people to address him? So is it the case that when he became the heir/crown prince, his name sort of...officially became not “Wynne”?
I’m thinking of how on Prince William’s and Harry’s birth certificates, for example, their mother was named just as HRH The Princess of Wales, no “Diana” anywhere. https://i.pinimg.com/originals/4d/f9/09/4df909317066aabfc6843d622d9d20fc.jpg

Re: The Prince's Progress

[anastasialeigh]

Thanks!

I can fix the breech/breach issue easily. I have the master in Word and can ctrl+F. (I write this very fast, so not surprised there are some homophone issues.)

You are correct on the marriage certificate issue! It should be clearer in the final version, when I've finally named the country. Wynne's "true name" is essential His Royal Highness Prince of X. Which is why when Fitz briefly becomes the Crown Prince, that becomes his real name.